When things were good, they were really good. But when things were bad, they were a train wreck. 

I wasn't always the empowered, goal-getter girl you see now - I was actually riddled with anxiety, trying to make my way through my Social Work undergrad when I thought I hit the rock bottoms of all rock bottoms with my body. I was tired of wishing and fantasizing over what it would be like to have a perfectly flat stomach, so me and my anxiety medication at the time decided we should just go for it. 

After years of trying and failing at getting a flat stomach, I was finally obsessed enough that nothing was going to stop me... not this time! And it's true - nothing stopped me. "Goal driven" , "an inspiration", "unstoppable", and "empowered" were some of the names I got for myself in the name of a 50 pound weight-loss. I was the before and after photo that women wanted to be.

For a few years I maintained my lifestyle of religiously going to the gym, taking one rest day per week, weighing every gram of food that went into my mouth, and ordering a medium stuffed crust pizza from pizza hut every Friday where I would eat the whole thing by myself... and be sick for days afterwards (that's all water under the bridge now, don't worry). Because chronic over-working was something I was good at, I decided I wanted to do a  bikini competition so this 22 year girl driven by hustle culture crushed it. Four months worth of early morning cardio multiple times a week, hitting the gym with more cardio after work - I felt like I was in my element.

Shortly after my competition prep ended, I resumed my self-lead macro counting and working out, began  my Clinical Social Work Master's, but the stress of my social work job and Grad school finally caught up to me. Despite counting macro's and being in a calorie deficit that me and my body knew oh so well, I gained nearly 20 pounds over night (not actually, but it felt like it). No matter how hard I worked out and how low my calories were, I kept gaining weight and to the chronic dieter in me, this made absolutely no sense. 

Fast forward about a year with more weight-gain, cystic acne, missing periods, ovarian cysts, severe insomnia, and the rock bottoms of actual rock bottoms with my body image,  I was finally diagnosed with PCOS.

Living in my "weight-gain body" felt unbearable at times - especially with my diet mentality breathing down my neck. After repeatedly trying to lose weight  and not getting anywhere, and ruining my whole day by looking at my body in the mirror, I decided that things had to change. 

This was the beginning of my journey through coming home to my body and making peace with what I saw in the mirror, ending my toxic relationship with
food and exercise, and enjoying my life guilt-free.

Now I'm here to help you 

do the same!